Tag Archive | Struggle

Wasted Years

I’ll always love you, like I always said I would
We are one, there is nothing I wouldn’t do
But my illness and addiction, and your hope
Can’t save me or you

I’m troubled
There I said it
And I can’t give you credit
For the good that you’ve done
The only good you can do
Is pulling the trigger on that gun

Do it for me, do it for you

I’m no good.

It scares me
My thoughts are out and loud
How can you stand there so rigid and proud?
Your eyes say a lot
And I am left here to rot
While you use your silence to kill me
My life smells of decay
And you, you’re okay
When I’m a withering flower
I need sunshine and water
I need love, I need life

We’re nothing alike.

It scares me everyday
You’re there but you’re gone
And I’ve lost my way

Don’t let me go
Please hold my hand
Before I slip through the cracks
And you’ll wonder what could’ve been
I know you will.

Save me from The End.

I need you.
Help me bloom.

-m.T

(Photo credit: annstreetstudio.com)

Grave Digger

As soon as a man is born he begins to die
From the moment he breathes his first breath
And opens his eyes

And when he is born, his time on earth will have begun
Although, each day ticks away
He will one day grow up and ask: what have I become?

This question will haunt him and follow him around
It’ll hover, whisper and squeal
And won’t ever back down

He will refuse to color himself in and take on the shape of a shadow
He fills his own shoes
And marches on to his everyday battle

Uniformed in a striped tie and blue tailored suit
Is a sad man who wishes
A career in happiness could be pursued

He’s learned that all that glitters is not gold
And his path has been paved a little differently
With forks and grooves in the road

Where did all the people go?
Just an unfamiliar world
Where friends have become foes

He empties his pockets and pours out his heart
He walks away from his life with no meaning
And prepares to depart

-m.T

The Evil Counterpart

cat and mouse

I stand here before you

A

fr

              a

                       i  d.

I can’t run anymore. I don’t have the strength to climb
Anymore
So I descend, from your pillar of shame
Calloused.
I scrounge for whatever bravery I can scrape from the ground, starving for what I have never tasted:

Beauty.

I look up, and there you are

Again and Again and Again

You present yourself unannounced, following my every move- mocking me. Taunting me. You stand behind a protective layer of glass, far from my reach, where my hands have the desire to choke you. And the desire to smother your face.

That is everyday
Tomorrow
And yesterday.

I am afraid of everyday.

You’re everything I don’t want to be, are the words that roll off of my tongue, naturally
With truth.  And with conviction. Without effort
Or thought.

“Look a little closer”
She sneers
She snarls.
I refuse to look within her prying eyes…

Deny Deny Deny

Two fingers, which I have declared to the world by pointing them in a V, are now used to demonstrate the opposite of peace. They cover my eyes from what I don’t want to see, because I am at war with myself.

The girl in the mirror knows
I can’t
Be
Freed

And you caused it.

Her eyes insist a kind of honesty I have replaced with animosity. The girl in the mirror has changed
The rules
I refuse to follow.
I refuse to look.
I refuse to engage.

She disappears behind a layer of fog I have marked with each exhaled breath.
Unable to see her
I find comfort.

Face your fears- we are told. And so I’ve heard.
But what if the fear I face is… me?
And who the hell was I
Clenching onto
Every minute
Every second?
In front of you
When it was all a waste of time.
Who are you to inspect my mind?
You’re not inclined to think like I
I and I
We meet with eyes
Eyes, which are the window to your soul
A soul, which you do not have
My soul you will never steal
For you are
Just
The girl in the mirror.

m.T

(Photo Credit: annstreetstudio.com)