Tag Archive | Relationships

Absent Memory

 

I took the letter you wrote me
Lit it on fire
And let the wind carry it
To the place
Where we shared
Whispered
Laughed
And lay
Between blades of grass
And blades
You used to cut
To rid yourself of the pain
You could never
Ever
Numb yourself of
When I placed my hands on your wounds
And on your heart
I tried to absorb your pain
But it wasn’t enough
For you to lose something
For me to gain

m.T

(Photo Credit: annstreetstudio.com)

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Motion Sickness

Independence
Is a shiny pendent
He dangles before her
Swaying

Back and forth
Back and forth
Back and forth

She’s dependent
Although she craves the other
Instead she dangles before him
Reaching

Back and forth
Back and forth
Back and forth

He moves his hands
And grasps her
Flesh and bones
Shaking her

Back and forth
Back and forth
Back and forth

She wants freedom
Beloved freedom
Torn between him and liberty
Deciding

Back and forth
Back and forth
Back and forth

Hypnotized and terrified
She can’t break free
Asleep, she wanders
Indecency has swallowed her
Loyalty to him has become her
It’s all she’ll ever be
Until the day she runs
And screams
Hears her voice
And awakes from his dream
Disrupting
The world
And everything
From continuing
To move
Back and forth
Instead she moves
Forward

-m.T

(Photo Credit: annstreetstudio.com)

A Heart Made of Holes

old hollywood

The promises we make
We often break
Sometimes even a promise we’ve made with ourselves
Don’t we?
Haven’t you?
Oh you fool
Who used her heart
And he used it too
To have it
Succumb
To a shriveled, decomposed state
Of mind
Over matter

I never counted my blessings
Only the cigarettes smoked
And the amount of times
You undressed me
Stripping me
Not of my clothes
But of me
Revealing my bare
Necessity
For a heart
You stole
Many years
Ago

Beneath my skin and bones
Is an empty cavity
That needs filling
Love willing
Without smoke
Which fills it now
From a cigarette
Tugging at the filter
Of what your mouth didn’t have
Of what it felt like
To tug at you
At your sleeve
Where I wanted you to wear your heart

And I loved him, I loved him
And now that love is gone
As courageous I have become
I was afraid that this would happen
I was afraid you’d blow all your kisses
Away
For someone else
And you have
When I had been saving mine
In the palm of my hand
Where you once held yours
In your soft hands
Unlike your heart

And you love her, you love her
And I had to imagine a life
Without you
Without her
Because it made me happy
Even though I was lying
In a bed
Which I have made
It’s happening
I have become this
What’s happened to me?
It’s better to forget
Ignorance is bliss

-m.T

(Photo Credit: http://www.annestreetstudio.com)

She Colours Her World

looking forward to spring

She often watched classic films
In black and white
Except her life wasn’t
So
Black and white
With shades of grey
How could
She
Be that woman
He
Dreamed she could be
In films
On that
Big screen
He tried to transpose
Into the
Big world
Where a lady is not a woman
But a girl
The size of the
Gap between
His thumb and finger
Sizing her up
Eyes linger
Until her knees buckle
Limber
Lumber
As the result of fallen trees
She hoped to never be
To instead grow tall
Strong
Self-assured
Where he would embrace
A woman
Not a girl
We see in black and white films
But someone real
A woman in colour
A real woman
To colour
Not his
But hers
A beautiful world

-m.T

(Photo Credit: http://www.annstreetstudio.com)

Acquainted Strangers

fade away

There he was- a remarkable man; a savior who embodied calamity, conviction and intuition. Bewildered. She stared at him closely. She allowed her eyes to absorb the very nature of the man she did not know. Guarded. Her lungs absorbed an energy, a force, which was transparent in the open space between them. Inexplicable. Astounded by his ability to touch her soul, she ran. She ran into the open field, where fog thickly blanketed the air. She didn’t know where she was running to. All she could be certain of was that she was running from a stranger who made her feel like he knew her far too well.

Out of breath and out of time, she fell to her knees and threw her body to the ground. Afraid he may find her lying there, she grabbed onto the thin blades of grass, which demonstrated the only proof that wind existed, and pleaded with the man above to help her. She dug her face in the dirt and smelled the earth, ready to become a part of it and fearful she was fated to die. Silence became her. She could hear his body moving closer to where she lay. She dug her face deeper into the ground, reluctant; for she did not want her eyes to witness herself become a victim. She felt him standing over her. She held her breath and begged her body to rid itself of sensation. She became numb. Unable to sense what was going to happen next, she lay still, ill prepared to become his prey.

He stood there without much to say as he admired her in a submissive state. He was saddened by it. She lay there before him, withered, helpless and frightened. He could sense her loss of innocence, her obsession with self-destruction and her commitment to freedom and everything wild and free. He knelt next to her and asked if she was alive. She didn’t answer.

Somewhere amidst the chaos in the world, in their world, they found each other. It’s as if fate had magically worked itself out, as it usually does, bringing two lonely strangers to a place where being a nobody had lost its relevance. She hadn’t quite realized that her life had passed her by. She hadn’t realized that she wasn’t quite so little anymore. She had discovered that all was not right in the world. This became quite shocking for a frail girl with big eyes, a hungry heart and thirst for imagination. There, in the dirt, she lay disconnected from the outside world, in a tall field of grass listening to the crickets speak in unison with the speed of the wind. There was nothing ordinary about being ordinary to her.  She forgot what it was like to change and be different, or perhaps it was the world she lived in that made it appear as though she hadn’t changed at all. She didn’t seem complacent or worrisome, yet there was a particular sadness that followed her- a certain kind of sadness that became addictive. Was she living to die or dying to live? Perhaps her blank face and routine days echoed a simple, yet profound statement about living such an ordinary life. Was she so different than the rest of her suburban neighbors? Undoubtedly no.  Confined to this world, she became so plain because plain is all she could be if it meant blending in with a very, very unpromising Suburbia.

Although she hadn’t said a word about anything above, he was well aware of who she was and how she got there. He was intrigued. He lit a cigarette and handed it to her, “Now finish your story.”

Violated. He had violated her mind. Although she felt naked, she was compelled to finish where his ability to read her mind, had left off.

-m.T

I am

strength

I am life, the one you never wanted me to be. I am a breath of fresh air when you wanted to suffocate me with tyranny. I am virtuous, rising above your tidal wave of fury. I am remembrance of your memory often blurry. I am the sea, which washes away your cruelty. I am liberty in the face of your mutiny. I am honour, which dismisses your violence. I am loud in the face of silence. I am bravery, which belittles your intolerance. I am victory above your dominance. I am all of these things, you see, but you can’t because you’re blind to what this means. There is no beauty in monsters who shut their eyes, the ones who use truth saturated in lies. The ones who wipe their hands clean of the damage they have done; the ones who walk away from the battleground thinking they have won. The ones who use words with the intention to kill; the ones who use ferocious words for the thrill. Be on your way with your suitcase filled with belligerence where you can no longer harm or tarnish innocence. For I am not a feather, but a bird made of many. I will soar to greater heights, never weak, always steady.

-m.T