My Addiction

eating paper

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Today, a certain nosey someone at the coffee shop poked his nose around my table to sniff out what I was doing. He decided that his question was important enough to interrupt my writing flow. I lied. It wasn’t important at all but apparently it was to him. He asked: “Why are you always here?” I replied, “Because I’m stalking you.” Well, I didn’t but I wanted to. Sometimes, well most of the time, my smart mouth doesn’t always work in my favor so I’ve learned to lock it up. Anyway, I politely answered, “I’m writing.” A few questions that followed were a little annoying, so I won’t bore you with those but the question, which stood out to me as funny and a little thoughtless, if you will, was this: “Why write?” He almost suffocated me with his arrogance, almost, but I managed to gasp for air and wave that stinky sticky question out of my face. I simply replied: “I write because I must.” I was short and to the point and he didn’t have much to say. Mission accomplished. With that, he filled up with air and deflated like a helium balloon. In my head, in my head he deflated like a helium balloon. Sometimes my imagination does what it must to add humor to some trying times.

After my annoying stranger-friend found something better to do, something dawned on me. I’m addicted to writing. At least I think I am. I write because I must echoed in the foreground of my mind, venomously. I repeated it over and over in my head. From the depth of writer’s land a flounder of words emerged. I exclaimed, “Damn you coffee shop stranger, damn you.” As I drowned out the relentless echo, I settled my fists of fury and collected myself. Alright, maybe this didn’t exactly happen. Perhaps I should save the theatrics for a game of charades, you say? Okay, deal.

I don’t remember why my addiction started or when it started, but I have an inkling that Stephen King may have something to do with it. Upon researching how to be the best you can be at your craft one day, I came across this quote by him, which read: “If you want to be a writer, you must do two things above all others: read a lot and write a lot. There’s no way around these two things that I’m aware of, no shortcut.” This system has worked, for the most part. It’s become the method to my madness. There’s just one tiny problem. I can’t stop writing. Someone please help! I don’t want to be one of those people sitting across from a group leader who says with a confident grin, “Welcome to Writer’s Anonymous” and I don’t want to be one of those people who replies: “Hi, my name is M.T. and I’m here because I’m addicted to writing.” Is there even such a thing? Geez, what if there is? Should I check myself into rehab, into W.W.A? How much is too much? I suppose the first step to getting clean is admitting you have a problem. Here are some of the dreadful things I’m guilty of…

1.Five minutes before 5:00 p.m. I get all jittery and excited. Am I excited to see my drop-dead handsome dream man for our fancy shmancy date? Nope. I’m all jittery and excited to leave work to go write (cue in wah, wah, wah).

2. If I’m inspired, I have to write. There’s no doubt about it.  Thank goodness for memo-pads on cell phones. It’s saved this crazy addict from diving off the deep end for a piece of paper and a pen.

3. When I’m on a roll I’m sure as hell and ready to annihilate anyone that interrupts me or even sneezes in my presence.

4. I won’t rest until I write.

5. Sometimes I write like the end of the world is approaching and the only thing left to do is write. Although, if the end of the world happened, my writing definitely wouldn’t survive it. Well, you know what I mean- it’s a figure of speech people!

6. Is it bad to admit that I’ve cancelled plans once or twice when I’ve felt a good idea brewing? Pathetic, I know.

7. My notebook looks like a crack head went AWOL.

8. I often, well more than often, find time during the day at work to write. Shh, my boss doesn’t know. Well maybe he does, but he won’t say anything because of #3. He knows.

9. My mood swings and irritability are a result of not being productive enough or not completing my writing goal for the day.

10. It gets my heart-a-racin’, especially after I’ve completed a perfectly formed sentence, found the right words to match my ideas, or when I’ve managed to pull it together after an all-nighter. Nothing makes me happier than seeing a coherent chef-d’oeuvre of words. I get a rush that surges through my body. It’s an exhilarating feeling most would compare to sex. Did I just compare writing to sex? Oh. My. God. Maybe this is worse than I thought.

Alright, so maybe I am addicted to writing, just maybe. The list above could be a pretty clear indication, I suppose. Most of this post is far-fetched. I’m sure you could sense that. Maybe that too is a characteristic of an addict. Anyway, some people have used writing as their means for recovering from drug or alcohol addiction, but what happens when writing becomes your addiction? Is there another outlet you can plug into to wean you off of writing? Is it safe to say that writing is a healthy addiction? I suppose I’ll leave the questions to the experts. Excuse me while I end this post. I need to get another fix.

-m.T

Question for you: What is something that you would hate to go without for a day? For a lifetime?

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About My Write To Read

It would be difficult to imagine a world without influential writers who broke down barriers and turned complex ideas into eloquent masterpieces. I hope to become one of those writers someday. There is still a lot to learn as much as there is to write about, but I know my passion for putting thoughts and opinions on paper will help me flourish into an independent thinker and writer. Sometimes we often place ourselves outside of the world, oblivious of the effects of change, but as a writer I am striving to submerse myself into the events, catastrophes, and activities that are a part of every day, in order to understand why things are the way they are. The world is my artist and my canvas is this blog, and you? You are my audience, observer, critic, and valued reader. My Blog: https://mywritetoread.wordpress.com/

12 responses to “My Addiction”

  1. wlouison says :

    If you find good Writer’s Anonymous group, please let me know and I’ll come along for support. Only if you promise to support me as well, because I am guilty of all of these things. Except that part about a dream man. Not my thing. Great post! 🙂

  2. drewdog2060drewdog2060 says :

    A great post which made me smile throughout. Sitting in the office I frequently wish to be away from their, sitting at my desk, at home writing away. Why do I write?
    1. Because I feel that I have something to say. Possibly that sounds arrogant but it isn’t meant to and
    2. Because I feel the necessity of doing so.
    Question for you: What is something that you would hate to go without for a day? For a lifetime? Friendship

    • My Write To Read says :

      It’s a comment like this that makes me happy to be a blogger. Thank you. That doesn’t sound arrogant at all. Writing is one means of communication. If you have something to say, write. I couldn’t agree with you more. Friendship is also important. I don’t know what I’d do without my friends. Thanks for sharing 🙂

  3. vincenzofrancesco says :

    I think writing is a form of communication that needs to be maintained with close friends even if you see them regularly in real time. There is a filter of sorts in verbal communication whereas in writing we communicate straight from the heart. What do you think?

    • My Write To Read says :

      I can agree with you. Also, we form our identities based on our interaction with others. Charles Taylor is a philosopher who discusses this process. If you ever have time to mow through his writing you might find some of his philosophy interesting (although some of his argument is debatable). Indeed, we do tend to have a filter when it comes to verbal communication but I also believe this is true for writing as well. Because the written word is tracable, it’s important to be aware of what you are saying and who your audience is. Sometimes writing can offend people, upset people, etc. if you’re not careful. Personally, I believe it’s easier to write things instead of verbally communicating it, especially when it’s expressing how you feel. Thank you for your comment.

      • vincenzofrancesco says :

        Ironically, we stand more of a chance being misunderstood in writing than in real life, because so many gestures and expressions are missing. After hitting the send button (several days later) you begin to wonder if your words were taken the wrong way. Communication is as fragile as it is sacred.

      • My Write To Read says :

        “Communication is as fragile as it is sacred”- absolutely! It’s why I find difficulty writing emails. I find them impersonal and I often wonder if the recipient will misunderstand me or find me rude. It’s much easier to communicate emotion in person (when it comes to conversation). It’s really something that can be debated from both ends of the spectrum. It’s interesting how many pros and cons you can come up with.

  4. vincenzofrancesco says :

    So true. We are such complex creatures. Going back to the beginning… I think… I feel it benefits a friendship when both modes of communication are at work. Both are beautiful in their own way and compliment each other. There are some things that can only be said in person and others that are better expressed in written form.

    I hope I haven’t offended you by what I just wrote (just kidding).

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